By Governor Richard Codey
Nothing is more devastating to a parent than the death of a child. The loss is exponentially more shattering when the loss is the result of suicide.
A family goes from being an ordinary family to survivors of suicide. There are no words for these unimaginable feelings; the home that held so many wonderful family memories now contains death. The rest of the world’s response to a suicide is to try and be supportive of those who are dealing with the loss. But the real world goes on in spite of your tragedy. The recent rise in teenage suicides has been tragic. Meanwhile, the newly bereaved, remain stuck in the moment that their world changed, and they aren’t always able to reach out for help. What they need, we can’t provide. They understand that their child had taken their life; their first thought was that they must have been in tremendous pain, and didn’t notice.
Most of us are shocked and surprised when we hear about the suicide of a child that we know. But we shouldn’t. Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for ages 10-24 more teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza, and chronic lung disease.
Carolyn Coburn, a Mays Landing mother who lost her daughter to suicide last year says, “There’s very little suicide prevention taught because schools are scared. We do drug and alcohol education – that doesn’t mean kids say, ‘Wow that’s a great idea, let me go out and shoot dope.’ It teaches them what the effects are and not to do it,” she said. “Mental illness is like air — just because you don’t see doesn’t mean it’s not there. It’s all around us.”
When a child commits or attempts suicide it is evidence of a mental health issue, often unnoticed or undiagnosed. Yet, four out of five teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs. For too long we have swept the problems of mental illness under the carpet, and hoped that they would go away.
My wife, Mary Jo, and I have devoted our lives to raising awareness of mental health issues. Mental illness has been a central issue in the life of our family. Mary Jo, experienced postpartum depression so severe that she grappled with thoughts of killing our newborn son, Kevin. Now, Mary Jo spearheads a statewide campaign to raise awareness about postpartum depression and as a couple, we helped New Jersey become the first state to require hospitals to screen new mothers for it.
In 2012, we founded The Codey Fund for Mental Health to ensure that compassionate, quality mental healthcare is available to everyone and to overcome the stigma of mental illness through public awareness and education.
The Codey Fund for Mental Health along with the Essex, Morris and Monmouth County Mental Health Associations are teaming up to collaborate on creating workshops that educate “Support Staff” or Auxiliary Staff” in our schools to educate about signs and symptoms of depression, bullying and suicide. Armed with this information all personnel who are with your children every day will be able to recognize the signs and symptoms and raise the red flag before another tragedy could occur.
We need to arm all those involved with our children the tools and training needed to notice the signs to report them. That is our goal, to educate and train and bring the uncomfortable topic into the light and not let it be swept under the carpet any longer. The stigmas of mental illness need to be erased and talking about it is the first step to getting help. .
You can visit us at codeyfund.org for resources on mental illness and tools to erase the stigma. The Codey Fund for Mental Health is located at 300 Executive Drive, West Orange, NJ 07052. Email: info@Codeyfund.org